In our quest for authenticity, have we inadvertently created a new kind of stress and exhaustion on people? In a world where being "real" and "authentic" are touted as virtues, it's worth pausing to reflect on whether we're now trying too hard to be ourselves.

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Authenticity has become something of a buzzword in recent years. Social media, self-help books, and motivational speakers all extol the virtues of being authentic. The message is clear: be true to yourself, be honest, and don't pretend to be someone you're not. And while I celebrate this too, I've noticed there's a lot of misunderstanding around what authenticity really means, and it seems like it's treated as a status thing.

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Let's explore this phenomenon and ask ourselves if the pursuit of authenticity has led to what we might call "authenticity burnout."

The Rise of the Authenticity Ideal

Authenticity, by definition, is about being true to oneself, one's beliefs, and values. It's about not pretending to be someone you're not and being transparent in your actions and words. The rise of the authenticity ideal can be traced back to the desire for more genuine, meaningful connections. In a world where we often curate carefully manicured versions of ourselves for social media, many people began to crave a return to a more authentic way of living.

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Books like Brené Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection" and movements like minimalism and mindfulness have encouraged people to embrace their flaws, let go of perfectionism, and live more in the present moment. These are very valuable messages, and they have undoubtedly helped many find a deeper sense of fulfillment.

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The appeal of authenticity extended beyond individuals and found its way into the world of business and marketing as well. Brands that could convincingly convey authenticity were able to establish deeper connections with consumers. Authenticity signaled trustworthiness and a genuine commitment to customer satisfaction. Companies like Patagonia, known for their environmental activism, and Ben & Jerry's, with their socially responsible practices, are celebrated for their authenticity.

The Authenticity Paradox

However, there's a paradox at play here. As some strive to be authentic, they may inadvertently create a new set of expectations and pressure.

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When individuals prioritize appearing authentic over actually embodying authenticity in their thoughts, actions, and relationships, it's obviously pretty counterproductive.

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Consider the following ways in which authenticity can become burdensome:

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1. The Performance of Authenticity: When you're constantly trying to be authentic, you might paradoxically start performing authenticity rather than embodying it naturally. You'll feel the need to prove your authenticity, which can be exhausting.
2. Fear of Judgment: The fear of being judged for not being authentic enough can be paralyzing as well. It might deter you from pursuing certain interests or expressing yourself in unconventional ways.
3. Comparison Trap: In a culture that idealizes authenticity, you might find yourself comparing yourself to those who seem more authentic. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
4. Overthinking: The pursuit of authenticity can lead to overthinking every action and decision. Is this choice authentic to who I am? Will others perceive it as authentic? These questions can be mentally taxing.
5. Lack of Privacy: The emphasis on transparency can make it challenging to maintain personal boundaries and privacy.

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In business, the pursuit of authenticity has become a marketing strategy in and of itself, giving rise to what we might call "generic authenticity." It's as if authenticity has been commodified, packaged, and sold to the highest bidder.

Embracing Authenticity Without Burnout

So, where does this leave us? Is authenticity a lost cause, or can we still seek genuine authenticity in a world of generic versions? And how can we embrace authenticity without succumbing to authenticity burnout?

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Let's consider the following:

1. Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and understand that authenticity absolutely doesn't mean being perfect. It's about being true to yourself, flaws and all. It literally means Being - everything you need, is already here. ‍
2. Set Boundaries: Recognize that it's okay to have boundaries and maintain some level of privacy. Not everything needs to be shared with the world. Use social media mindfully!‍
3. Mindfulness: Embrace mindfulness to stay grounded in the present moment and reduce overthinking.‍
4. Authenticity is Fluid: Understand that authenticity is not a fixed state. Being authentic isn't about staying the same all the time. It's more like going with the flow of who you are as you grow and change. It might seem a bit messy at times, but that's because you're not trying to fit into anyone else's idea of who you should be.

In Conclusion

In an era where authenticity has become a coveted virtue, it's ironic that the very concept of authenticity can sometimes lose its authenticity.

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So, the next time you find yourself overwhelmed or striving excessively to 'be authentic,' take a step back, breathe, and remember that authenticity comes from within and should be a source of liberation, not an additional burden!

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Much love,

Stefanie

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